Marriage is supposed to be about partnership, but my husband Jake recently forgot that crucial detail. It all started when he came home with what he called my “Wife Improvement Plan” – a detailed schedule outlining how I could “do better” as his spouse. The audacity would have been laughable if it wasn’t so insulting.
Jake had fallen under the influence of Steve, his perpetually single coworker who fancied himself a relationship expert. Suddenly, my hardworking, reasonable husband began dropping comments about how I should prioritize homemaking over my career. The final straw came when he presented me with a typed schedule mandating 5am wake-ups, gourmet meals, and spotless housekeeping – all while maintaining my full-time job.
Instead of exploding, I got creative. I drafted my own “Husband Upgrade Proposal” complete with budget breakdowns: $1,200 for a personal trainer, $700 weekly grocery bills, and $75,000 to replace my salary since his plan would require me to quit work. I even included $50,000 for a man cave so his friends wouldn’t disrupt my new domestic schedule.
Watching Jake’s face as he read my response was priceless. The color drained from his cheeks as reality set in. His sheepish apology came quickly once he realized the financial and emotional cost of his ridiculous demands. We tore up both lists that night, remembering that marriage works best when both partners respect each other’s contributions.
