It’s been five months since dancer, choreographer, and The Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ Stephen “tWitch” Boss tragically died by suicide at the age of 40. Now, in her first interview since his devastating passing, the star’s wife, Allison Holker Boss, is opening up about life after her husband’s passing and navigating the heartbreaking task of explaining to their three children that their father won’t be returning home.
In an interview with TODAY’s Hoda Kotb, Holker expressed sadness over her husband’s private battle with depression that ultimately led to him taking his own life.
“He wanted to be the strong one for everyone, and I think that was a little scary for him to think that he might need to ask for help,” the Move with Kindness founder told Kotb. “He was so much love and light. He really wanted to be everyone’s Superman, and he said that a lot.”
Holker, a top 10 finalist on season two of So You Think You Can Dance, met her husband in 2010 when they appeared as all-stars on season 7. Shortly after, they tied the knot on Dec. 10, 2013. The Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ ultimately adopted Holker’s 14-year-old daughter Weslie Fowler before welcoming 7-year-old son Maddox Laurel Boss and their 3-year-old daughter Zaia Boss.
The media personality admitted that having to talk to her kids about their father’s passing is “honestly something I wouldn’t wish for anybody.” She added that “it’s really hard” but shared that if she learned anything, “it’s that communication is key.”
She revealed having to have “really hard conversations” with her kids, who often ask when their dad will return. “To us, Daddy’s in the stars. So we can go outside and talk to him whenever we want. … They just ask, ‘When is daddy coming back?’ and that’s a really hard one,” she continued.
She added, “And then it’ll be a couple weeks later, ‘But does he come back when he’s older? Like, when Daddy’s older, he’ll come back? But they are still children and still obviously want him here.”
Holker maintained a level of fortitude, highlighted by Kotb, who asked if it were for her children or the public. The mother of three responded: “I think it’s for all of them.”
The dancer declared, “I don’t really have any other choice but to be strong,” before adding, “Now, they still see me have my highs and lows because there’s a lot of it.” However, she stated, “All I can do is just try to move forward.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to connect with a trained counselor or visit the Lifeline site.