A woman who gave birth to her first child at 58 said she has no regrets about being an older mother, despite appearing more like her son’s grandparent than parent while on the school run.
Carolyne Ness, a resident in New South Wales, Australia, told The Sun having her son, Javed, now 5 years old, via IVF had “completely changed my life.”
According to Carolyne, now 64, she had to travel to India to undergo the procedure because the age limit for embryo adoption in Australia is 55. Just shy of her 58th birthday, Carolyne paid £4,500 (about $5,400) to adopt an embryo in India, where she had three embryos – using the egg of a 21-year-old Indian woman and the sperm of an American donor – transferred. In November 2017, she gave birth to her son, Javed, via cesarean section.
The 64-year-old said she hadn’t envisioned becoming an older mom, even as she struggled with infertility in her youth.
“I never wanted to be a single mother, that was like my worst nightmare but it got to the stage where it was now or never and I knew I would regret it if I didn’t try,” she told The Sun. As per Carolyne, she had considered IVF back when she was still married to her ex-husband.
“In my 30s I discovered that I had fertility issues but by the time we got round to thinking about doing IVF our relationship had really broken down and we just didn’t want to bring a child into that,” she lamented.
Carolyne also told that she had no regrets about her decision.
“I don’t think it’s too late (to get pregnant) when you’re in your 50s. I’m so glad I went ahead with the pregnancy as Javed has completely changed my life.”
Like so many single mothers out there, Carolyne, who is a certified counselor, soon discovered motherhood wasn’t always going to be a bed of roses.
“Being a single mum can be a real struggle as you don’t have anyone to fall back on in the same way. I don’t have family here. I’ve got friends but Australia is such a huge place that they don’t really live near me. I don’t often get a break but I think I manage pretty well,” she told The Sun. She added becoming a mom at 58 suited her perfectly.
“I’ve got far more patience now than I might have had when I was younger. You develop maturity, and I think without that, I might have struggled a lot more as a younger mum. When I was younger, I was more selfish and I wouldn’t have liked to give up my social life, whereas now I don’t mind because I don’t have one!” she remarked.
Back in 2018 when Carolyne appeared on “This Morning”, she told the hosts:
“My life is just complete now that I have got my baby and I am so happy that I made the choice to go ahead. … And even though I am an older mother, I am coping very well and he is very loved and very much wanted.”
As for the school run, Carolyne said she feels no shame in being the oldest mother there.
The old mom said:
“Some of Javed’s friends have grandmothers who are around the same age as me but I just make myself known as his mum. I have nothing to be ashamed of after all.”
As for Javed? “He hasn’t noticed me being older,” Carolyne said. “All he says is that he wants a dad.”