Woman explains why she paid to lose her virginity aged 43

A woman has opened up about why she chose to use a male escort to lose her virginity at the age of 43.

Whether it’s down to religious beliefs or just not finding the right person until later in life, there can be many reasons why intimacy does not always start early for some people.

And for those with complex disabilities, the world of sex and dating can often be more complicated still.

Melanie Hawkes, 43, from Perth in Australia, opened up about her decision to use a male escort to lose her virginity after an illness as a child has left her needing a wheelchair since the age of three.

Melanie was just two years old when she was diagnosed with transverse myelitis, a disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord as a result of an infection.

Her parents had rushed her to hospital after she went from walking and talking like any other toddler, to stumbling around like she was “drunk”, before becoming paralysed in her legs and having only limited movement in her arms.

While some children fully recover from transverse myelitis, Melanie was among those who do not, and has required a wheelchair since the age of three and also experiences occasional pain and issues with her breathing, requiring support workers to help her with daily life.

Melanie revealed that she had never had a sexual experience until her 40s, as the only time sex had been discussed in her household was her parents warning her brothers not to get a girl pregnant before marriage.

She told Take 5 magazine (via news.com.au) that they didn’t broach the subject with her, explaining: “It wasn’t like I could sneak out, so they weren’t worried about me.”

Melanie added: “I’d liked a guy in uni, but after he was teased about having feelings for me, he kept his distance. After that, I assumed my dream of having a partner someday wouldn’t happen, so I busied myself with work and other commitments.”

However, in 2022 Melanie contracted Covid and had trouble with her breathing, and was “sure” she had been about to die from the virus.

Her support worker Tracy (name has been changed) offered to give her a massage one day after she found her neck had been hurting due to having to sleep upright to help with her breathing in the night.

While it was just a neck and back massage, it made Melanie realize it was the “first time [she’d] been touched so intimately by anyone”.

It was Tracy who’d revealed to Melanie that sex workers specializing in disabled clients existed – revealing that she used to work as one herself in the past.

With her Covid scare making her realize that “life was too short”, Melanie began to look for a suitable escort – which cost around $400 AUD ($270 USD) an hour – and stumbled across one called Chayse who she liked the look of.

She messaged Chayse and received a call from him 10 minutes later, and speaking to him put her at ease and let her discuss what she wanted from him.

Melanie first booked for a two-hour erotic massage with Chayse, initially for a month’s time but ended up moving it forward as she was “too eager to wait”.

Their first appointment was at Chayse’s house and Melanie asked Tracy to take her there, helping her dress in sexy underwear she’d bought online for the meeting and getting her onto the massage table before leaving the pair to it.

Afterward, she arranged another session at her own home, telling the publication: “Two weeks later, we met again at my house, as it was better equipped for my needs. We were together for three exhilarating hours and the next morning my whole body was aching.

“Chayse had bent me into so many different positions, but they’d all felt so good at the time.

“Now, I’m seeing Chayse regularly. He’s opened me up to a world I’d been missing for so long, and I’m loving every minute.”

Melanie revealed that she uses her sessions with Chayse to work out what she does and doesn’t like in the bedroom in the hopes of finding a life partner, which she hadn’t had the confidence to do before.

She explained: “I know some people will judge me, but that’s easy if you don’t have a disability. You don’t know what it’s like. People who matter to me are supportive and this is the happiest I’ve ever been.

“My only regret is not doing it sooner. I’m speaking out now, so people with disabilities know there are options for intimacy.”

Melanie concluded: “We deserve to feel loved and desired, like anyone else.”

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