Dave and Tom were having lunch when Dave sighed and shook his head. “I don’t understand women at all,” he admitted. “The other day, my wife was completely silent, so I assumed she was happy. Turns out, she was furious! Then I complimented her dress, saying it looked great on her, and she somehow took it as an insult about her weight.”
Tom chuckled. “Sounds like a tough week.”
“Tough?” Dave groaned. “I feel like I need psychic abilities just to keep up with her mood.”
Tom grinned. “You don’t need psychic powers. Just do what I did—get her a mood ring.”
Dave raised an eyebrow. “Does that actually work?”
“Oh, yeah,” Tom nodded. “When she’s happy, it turns blue. When she’s mad, I end up with a red mark on my forehead.”
A group of friends sat at a café, reminiscing about their relationships.
“When did you first really understand your husband?” Sarah asked.
Linda smiled. “On our first date. He tripped over his own feet and laughed about it all night. That’s when I knew he was the one.”
Diane nodded. “For me, it was when he proposed. He cooked dinner to make it special, but he burned everything. It was adorable.”
They turned to Jane, who stirred her drink thoughtfully.
“What about you?” Linda asked.
Jane sighed, smirking. “Unfortunately, about two weeks after the wedding.”
The group burst into laughter. Diane grinned. “Hey, better late than never!”
Jane raised her glass. “True. Though if I’d known then what I know now, I might’ve asked for a prenup—and noise-canceling headphones.”
Brian scrolled through his phone and whistled. “Wow. Last year, 5,276,482 people got married.”
His friend Kevin nodded. “That’s a lot of weddings.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Kevin frowned. “Wait… shouldn’t that be an even number?”
Brian chuckled. “Maybe someone got halfway down the aisle and had second thoughts!”
Don and his friend were chatting over coffee when Don shook his head.
“The grandkids came over this weekend,” he said.
“Oh, nice! How’d it go?”
“Well, not great at first. Marian corrected everything I did. Gave the kids cookies? Too much sugar. Let them jump on the couch? Too dangerous. By Saturday night, I felt like I couldn’t do anything right.”
His friend laughed. “So, how did the rest of the weekend go?”
Don grinned. “Actually, it was the best weekend I’ve ever had.”
His friend raised an eyebrow. “How?”
“Well, Sunday evening, she asked me to hand her her lipstick. I accidentally gave her a glue stick instead.”
His friend burst into laughter as Don leaned back in his chair. “It’s been quiet ever since.”
