I was counting down the minutes to seeing my family after weeks away when two newlyweds decided my fourteen-hour flight would be their personal love nest. Dave, sitting next to me in premium economy, asked if I’d switch seats with his wife Lia – who was all the way back in coach. When I politely declined unless he covered my $1,000 upgrade fee, the war began.
First came the exaggerated coughing fits. Then Dave blasted an action movie without headphones. When pretzel crumbs rained down on me like confetti, I knew this was deliberate. The final straw? Lia plopping onto Dave’s lap for an inappropriate cuddle session at 30,000 feet.
That’s when I called the flight attendant. Watching their smug faces fall as they got banished to economy was sweeter than any in-flight cocktail. But the real victory came when they tried sneaking back up front with a fake “bathroom emergency” – only to get sent packing again. Sometimes, the best part of traveling isn’t the destination, but watching karma serve justice at cruising altitude.
