The porch swing creaked gently as Bert and Edna, married for fifty-five years, sipped their lukewarm tea. The sunset painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, while squirrels battled over a stray Cheeto in the yard.
Edna sighed. “Bert, let’s talk about our bucket lists.”
Bert raised an eyebrow. “Bucket lists? At 87, my list has one item: wake up and remember where I left my pants.”
Edna chuckled. “I’m serious. Before we go, we should do something we’ve always wanted.”
Bert thought for a moment. “Fine. I’ve always wanted to go skydiving.”
Edna’s eyes widened. “Skydiving? You passed out for three minutes last time you bent down to tie your shoe!”
Bert shrugged. “If I faint midair, just let me land in the neighbor’s garden. I’ve always wanted to haunt him anyway.”
Edna grinned. “Fair enough. You jump out of a plane. I’ll do my thing too.”
Bert narrowed his eyes. “And what’s your bucket list item?”
Edna’s eyes sparkled with mischief—the same look she’d had in 1965 when she “accidentally” tossed Bert’s bowling trophy out the car window.
“Bert, I have a confession,” she whispered.
Bert gulped. “What now?”
“You know how your recliner always leaned to the left for twenty years?”
Bert nodded. “I blamed the dog. Poor thing limped for weeks.”
Edna smirked. “That was me. After you spilled grape soda on my new curtains in 1989, I jammed a spatula under the leg.”
Bert gasped. “You monster!”
Edna sipped her tea calmly. “And remember how the remote only switched to the Hallmark Channel?”
Bert’s eyes widened. “You said it was haunted!”
“Nope. I taped a penny inside the battery compartment. Five years of Christmas romances, Bert. Five years.“
Bert stared at her, then burst out laughing. “You know what? I’ve got a confession too.”
Edna raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Remember my Saturday ‘fishing trips’ for ten years?”
Edna crossed her arms. “You don’t fish.”
Bert grinned. “Nope. I was bowling. Won four trophies. They’re hidden behind the water heater.”
Edna’s jaw dropped. “So I threw out a fake trophy?”
They both dissolved into laughter.
In the end, Edna bought Bert a new recliner, Bert went skydiving (and survived), and they started bowling together every Saturday—mostly to keep an eye on each other.
