Neal McDonough’s No-Kissing Rule: A Testament to Love and Integrity

Neal McDonough, the acclaimed actor known for his roles in Band of Brothers and Desperate Housewives, has always stood by a unique personal rule: he won’t kiss any co-stars on screen. For McDonough, his lips are reserved for one woman—his wife, Ruve Robertson. This unwavering commitment to his marriage and values has defined both his personal life and his career in Hollywood.

McDonough, 58, has been married to Ruve since 2003, and together they have five children. His dedication to his wife is so strong that he has turned down roles that required intimate scenes, even when it meant losing significant opportunities. One of the most notable instances was in 2010 when he was reportedly fired from the ABC series Scoundrels for refusing to perform romantic scenes with co-star Virginia Madsen. The decision cost him an estimated $1 million and led to a challenging period in his career.

Reflecting on that time, McDonough described it as “horrible.” He faced criticism and was even labeled a religious fanatic by some in the industry. “Right after that, I couldn’t get a job because everyone thought I was a religious fanatic. I’m very devout, but I put God and my family first before myself,” he shared. Despite the setbacks, McDonough remained steadfast in his principles, refusing to compromise his values for the sake of his career.

His resilience eventually paid off. When he was cast in Desperate Housewives as the husband of Nicollette Sheridan’s character, he made it clear to show creator Marc Cherry that he wouldn’t participate in any kissing scenes. Cherry respected McDonough’s decision and worked around it, proving that compelling storytelling doesn’t always require physical intimacy. “All right, I’m just going to have to write better to make it happen,” Cherry said. This approach allowed McDonough to continue his work without compromising his beliefs.

McDonough’s love story with Ruve is as inspiring as his professional journey. The couple met by chance on St. Patrick’s Day in 2001 when they locked eyes on a London street. McDonough knew instantly that Ruve was the woman he would marry. “The next morning, I called the woman I was dating at the time and said, ‘I’m sorry, it’s not going to work out with us anymore—I just met the woman I’m going to marry,’” he recalled. Since then, their marriage has been a cornerstone of his life, providing him with strength and purpose.

Despite the challenges he’s faced in Hollywood, McDonough’s career has flourished. He’s taken on diverse roles in projects like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Yellowstone, and Justified, earning respect from both peers and fans. His commitment to his craft and his values has made him a standout figure in the industry.

There was even a time when McDonough considered leaving acting altogether. Before landing his breakthrough role in Band of Brothers, he was ready to quit Hollywood and help his parents run their motel. But fate had other plans. “I was about to say goodbye to Hollywood when I got a call from Steven Spielberg. He wanted to see me for Band of Brothers, and everything took off from there,” he shared.

Neal McDonough’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of staying true to oneself. While his no-kissing rule has cost him roles, it has also shaped a career he can be proud of—one built on integrity, faith, and love. By putting his family and values first, McDonough continues to succeed on his own terms, proving that staying true to your principles is its own kind of victory.

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